I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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