Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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