He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
