READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
