his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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