we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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