Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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