small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
