Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
