good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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