Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
