I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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