the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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