god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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