Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
