I like to think it a success when the cops are called
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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