Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
