so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
