is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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