Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You are a genius and a whore.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
