You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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