am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Never underestimate the power of titties
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
