When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
