So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
