I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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