brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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