i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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