he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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