oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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