You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
do herpes really smell.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
