i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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