she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
