Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
