And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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