Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
