im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
