using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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