Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
