I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
