Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
