you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
