And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
