pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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