i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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