you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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