i don't like sucking hair
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Who died my cat blue again?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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