Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
