Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
