I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
