break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
